The Renaissance Fair

The Renaissance Fair | Aliterate

It was a dark, cold, Thursday morning. My lovely mother, Agatha, was churning butter outside and my dearest father, John-Smith, went out into the forest to bring back his daily hunt of game. I went into the blacksmith tavern to forge my iron sword for knight school the next day.

Where do I start? It actually was a Thursday morning it it looked like God was furious. While he was sending down big bolts of disastrous thunder, he was crying as well. His tears formed a thick sheet of monstrous rain drops. Armageddon was clearly already taking its place. This field trip was a rain or shine trip meaning that there would be no reschedules for the trip. No reschedules even if our field trip took place on the meeting point of a hurricane, earthquake, and tornado.

I filled my bag with a brick ton of things which I would actually never end up using. After a dreadful one and a half hour bus ride we finally came to the one and only: Renaissance Fair. We were greeted by an old woman dressed in a Party City cape, calling herself a "magical fairy." When I first saw the "fairy" I though she was an escapee from Hogwarts. I stepped off the bus and was was greeted by MASS CHAOS! With colors of all sorts and shapes of all sizes, I didn't know if I was in Disneyland or if I was having a seizure. There was a bunch of stands and booths for different purposes. One sold wooden swords which our teachers restricted us from buying while another sold dragon candy which was just pop rocks.

We walked around the day camp a bit and we finally reached the tomato booth. This was a booth which would involve a kid paying $5 for 5 tomatoes and throwing it at a man who would insult them. However, last year, my teacher had complained to the main running the fair that some of the tomato booth's insults were way too far. Apparently, the man had told a kid in my school that, "your man boobs are bigger than your mom's." This made the owner of the fair fire that employee and brought a new person who was strictly forced to keep it PG. The current employee only used the same two insults, "Your throw is bad." and, "Na na na na na." The last one shouldn't even be considered an insult. Near the tomato booth was where we saw a fury. You heard me right; I said a fury. After asking multiple question like, "Is being a fury considered a mental illness?", we took many selfies with the fury.

After we went to various booths, our stomachs were ravenous. We quickly went to the overpriced cafeteria where I had the most expensive 2 piece chicken nuggets and french fries in my life. They took 12 whopping dollars from my wallet. After a quick lunch, we went to some other attractions like jousting, the human chess game, and Black Death simulation where I was a volunteer to demonstrate how to die. On our way out, I was getting a little hungry and I did have three dollars left. I quickly ran to a pickle stand where I payed $3 for a "giant" pickle on a stick. The best part is that she took the pickle from Costco's Vlasic Pickle Jar right in front of my eyes.

After enjoying the most expensive pickle I've seen, we all went on the bus to die on another one and a half hour bus ride. Of course, my body was tired and desperately needed to rest; but a good conversation with friends is obviously more important. Common sense, am I right?